Prepare yourself for the fact that this will not be about you being visible, but about learning to work with other people\u2019s insecurity.<\/p>\n
I once spent weeks preparing a personal coaching journey for a new Scrum Master. He was talkative, likable, and eager to integrate. I\u00a0wasn\u2019t\u00a0involved in his\u00a0day-to-day\u00a0work, but I assumed, based on feedback and instinct, that things were going well.<\/span><\/p>\n Months later, he quit.<\/span><\/p>\n He\u00a0didn\u2019t\u00a0just leave quietly; he made a dramatic exit, directly confronting our leadership and completely abandoning the industry. I was stunned.<\/span><\/p>\n Had\u00a0I failed him? Did I not motivate him enough?\u00a0I\u2019d\u00a0invested so much energy, emotional and\u00a0professional, trying to help him rise. But what I\u00a0hadn\u2019t\u00a0realized then is something every coach must eventually learn:<\/span><\/p>\n We can offer guidance, but we\u00a0can\u2019t\u00a0own someone else\u2019s outcome.<\/strong><\/p>\n That was my first real confrontation with the ICF Core Competency of\u00a0<\/span>Embodies\u00a0<\/span><\/b>a Coaching Mindset<\/span><\/b><\/a>, a mindset rooted in trust, openness, and non-attachment to results. I had confused emotional investment with impact. But impact\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0always look like we expect.<\/span><\/p>\n This is the trap. You care deeply. You want to\u00a0help. You go the extra mile \u2014 crafting workshops, reading between the lines, becoming the person your client or team relies on emotionally.<\/span><\/p>\n But sometimes, even when you give your best, the result\u00a0isn\u2019t\u00a0a transformation.\u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0silence. Friction. Resistance. Or,\u00a0as\u00a0in my story, complete\u00a0disappearance.<\/span><\/p>\n And\u00a0here\u2019s\u00a0what few people talk about: the emotional cost on the coach.<\/span><\/p>\n This is where\u00a0<\/span>Maintaining Presence<\/span><\/b><\/a>\u00a0becomes more than just being \u201cin the\u00a0moment.\u201d\u00a0It\u2019s\u00a0about managing your internal weather while standing in someone else\u2019s storm. Holding space\u00a0doesn\u2019t\u00a0mean becoming a sponge. We are there to reflect, not absorb.<\/span><\/p>\n Presence, for me, used to mean emotional labor.\u00a0I\u2019ve\u00a0since learned that true presence includes silence. Stillness. Even restraint. Sometimes the bravest thing a coach can do is pause, breathe, and not jump in with a fix.<\/span><\/p>\n After that experience, I changed my internal compass:<\/span><\/p>\nThe Emotional Overdraft of Coaching<\/span><\/b><\/h2>\n
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Coaching Essentials: What I\u2019d Do Differently<\/span><\/b><\/h3>\n
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